Getting Ahead of Ourselves

Posted on December 22, 2013 by Dave Burke

One of the advantages of waxing eloquent about your own parenting is that you can highlight the successes and gloss over the mistakes. Not that WE would ever do such a thing, of course! ;-) The truth is that there are a few things we wish we could do over. Usually they had to do with our response to the boys not reaching certain developmental milestones as soon as we had expected.

The nerve.

For example, there came a point in Gerrit’s development when we decided it was a good idea to let him cry himself to sleep. This was important! We didn’t want him developing the idea that bedtime was a game where he could get us to come running every time he cried! We also didn’t want to be the kind of parents who felt like it was their duty to be at their child’s beck and call. We had seen other parents fall into that trap and we weren’t about to let that happen to us! So one night we closed the door and let him wail. It was important for Gerrit’s character.

But Gerrit had a lot of stamina, and he could cry for a LONG time. Read more »

Categories: Experience, Moments | Tags: | Comments Off on Getting Ahead of Ourselves

Time

Posted on December 22, 2013 by Dave Burke

Most of us parents have been told at some point that we need to “appreciate the kids now because they grow up before you know it.” This usually comes from parents whose children are already grown, so their advice may be a little suspect. Parenting can be tough, and sometimes it feels like we’re barely keeping our heads above water. Being told to “enjoy the swim” by people who are already on board the life raft can be a little hard to take.

Still, it is true. The days we have with our kids whiz by in a blur of ball practices, cub scouts, piano lessons, sleepovers, trips to the doctor, school programs, homework, science fairs, birthday parties, church activities, and camps. And then there’s the weekend! :-) By the time we slump into a chair to catch our breath our babies are already shaving and we’re wondering why there’s never any food in the house anymore. Read more »

Categories: General | Comments Off on Time

Plausible Deniability

Posted on December 22, 2013 by Dave Burke

Like most folks, we were pretty excited about Tucker’s first experience with “real food” and we wanted to capture the moment for posterity. So, I set up the video camera as Karen began the process and big brother Gerrit chatted and looked on.

It was a lovely family moment…until something got a hold of Gerrit and out of the blue he turned and bopped Tucker over the head with a rattle. Everyone was stunned, except Tucker who seemed oblivious to the assault and just wanted more of that new food! Read more »

Categories: Behavior, Discipline | Tags: , | Comments Off on Plausible Deniability

Someone’s always watching

Posted on December 22, 2013 by Dave Burke

Both Karen and I spent our childhoods moving frequently. It’s just part of life when you belong to families involved with missions and the military. The migrations continued when we got married and we spent our first seven years moving around Germany. Finally, just as the boys were first entering school, we settled in one place and have been living here for the last fifteen years.

It’s amazing how many people you get to know when you’re in one place longer than a few years. Even casual acquaintances become familiar. You start recognizing other people’s kids because you played ball with them a few years back. Your younger kids encounter teachers who remember your older kids. The circle of folks you know, and those who know you, grows steadily. The connections between folks become clearer. This can have interesting benefits for parents. Read more »

Categories: Behavior | Tags: | Comments Off on Someone’s always watching

Manners

Posted on December 22, 2013 by Dave Burke

When I was in the army I sometimes drew miniature depictions of the battlefield in the sand to help explain the plan to my soldiers. These were called “sand tables.” If I knew the General was coming by we sometimes made really fancy sand tables with models and colorful materials, but most of the time I just used a stick to scratch out what folks were supposed to do. If the General popped in unexpectedly it was OK to use the simpler method, but it was always a plus to be ready with the fancier one if you could pull it off.

The dinner table is a lot like a sand table.

Read more »

Categories: Behavior, Standards | Tags: | Comments Off on Manners