Rite of Passage – The Ceremony: Part 2

Posted on December 22, 2013 by Dave Burke

As the ceremony continued, I said a few words about each of the four virtues we had selected, beginning with Faith:

A Life of Faith

Faith is the assurance of things hoped for and the conviction of things not seen. It is knowing that no matter how out-of-control life may seem, God is at the wheel, and things are going to turn out for the best. Knowing that allows us to live a life filled with confidence and free of paralyzing fear. Faith allows us to focus on where we’re going instead of where we’ve been. Faith is our part of the bargain. Without it we can’t please Him.

Heb 12:1&2  1Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. 2Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Read more »

Categories: Moments, Traditions | Comments Off on Rite of Passage – The Ceremony: Part 2

The Queen

Posted on December 22, 2013 by Dave Burke

For Karen, one of the chief benefits of living in a house filled with boys was that she was the uncontested queen. My own position as the Alfa male was, by its very nature, subject to increasing challenge as the boys grew up, but Karen’s place in the hierarchy was always completely secure. There was no competition for her spot because she was in a class by herself. She didn’t even have to deal with Barbies that had better figures than hers!

Being the family’s sole example of everything feminine was a tremendous responsibility, but Karen took to it with all the grace befitting a queen. She occupied her pedestal with humility and strength, and set the bar high for all the other girls who would eventually enter our boys’ lives.

Read more »

Categories: Standards | Comments Off on The Queen

Predators and Prey

Posted on December 22, 2013 by Dave Burke

My friend, Steve, and I have been having lunch together every week for over a decade. I’ve learned a lot from Steve. There aren’t many people who know so much about so many things. Born in rural Alabama, Steve grew up learning how things work and how to make-do with whatever was available. As a teenager he left home to spend a few years in the Air Force, then he went to college, got a degree, and became a software engineer. Now he writes software for a computer lab. If you need to know anything about anything, from bridle bits to computer bytes, Steve’s your man.

Our years of having lunch together have paralleled the formative years for each of our families. Steve also has three kids, two girls and a boy, and we’ve had fun over the years swapping stories about them. No one tells a better story than Steve. To hear him you’d think that the “cloud of doom” relentlessly hovers over his family, but that’s just his way of making the stories more dramatic. At least I think so. It’s hard to ignore the fact that his kids have provided him with some pretty good material over the years. Read more »

Categories: Behavior, Discipline | Tags: | Comments Off on Predators and Prey

Slippery Slopes

Posted on December 22, 2013 by Dave Burke

There is a well-worn axiom that says our parents get wiser as we get older. The truth is we tend to grow in our appreciation of what they were trying to tell us as we experience more of life. There’s nothing like rounding a bend on the path of life and suddenly encountering the very pothole that our parents said would be there. The first time it happens we’re pretty sure it must have been a lucky coincidence, because our parents couldn’t possibly understand what life is like in our world. When it happens again we acknowledge there might be a tenuous connection and grudgingly accept that maybe some of what they told us has merit. By the time we hit adulthood and become parents we’re usually seeking them out.

As with so many other things, Karen and I often fell back on the wisdom of our parents when we encountered teachable moments with our boys. As the years went by we built on that, using bits of wisdom we stumbled upon from other sources. Sometimes the “conventional wisdom” about parenting in our generation didn’t ring true for us and we had to decide on our own approach. We preferred for those insights to arrive with plenty of time to spare, so we could mull them over and refine them before they were really needed, but more often than not we were like teachers desperately trying to stay one chapter ahead of the class. Read more »

Categories: Behavior, Standards | Comments Off on Slippery Slopes

Life’s not Fair

Posted on December 22, 2013 by Dave Burke

In the movie “The Lion King” Simba’s uncle Scar famously sneers the line, “Life’s not fair, is it.” As parents we’ve had opportunity to quote Scar many times over the years, complete with our best imitation of Jeremy Iron’s voice, because it turns out he was right. Life just isn’t fair a lot of the time. Justice may be blindfolded in all those statues of her holding the scales, but there are times when it’s pretty hard to believe that she isn’t peeking. Especially when you’re a kid.

Read more »

Categories: Compassion, Moments, Standards | Comments Off on Life’s not Fair